Truth Forum

Until then,

I think it’s pretty safe to say that I have moved on. Moved on in the sense that I no longer see you every where I turn. Moved on in the sense that I am now okay being on my own, without you. Moved on in the sense that I am no longer hoping that one day it will be you and I. Moved on in the sense that I have let go of all the hurt and pain our relationship, you, and even myself, have caused. Am I in love with you? No. But do I still love you? I think so. Or if not you, at least the memories of you, of us.

What we had taught me a lot not just about myself and my capacity to love and to commit, but about my limitations as well. Although not being my first boyfriend, you literally are my first in almost everything: first concert with, first kiss, first long term relationship, first “LDR,” first heartbreak. Our relationship ending the way it did made me realize just how sometimes, even how badly you want something, if you’re not ready, or it’s not the right time, it’s just not going to work.

Until the day I find someone new, if ever that day comes, it will always be you. Until the day I decide to open my heart for the possibility of loving someone again, for falling in love again, you will always be the person I loved the most.  And with that being said, this will be the last post about you, and this will mark my final goodbye.

1
Summer 2015
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