“To say it was horrible would be an understatement. And maybe a little bit mean.”
I was never the one to go on dates–I only ever entertain someone I genuinely like. Or at least, I was that kind of person, up until a couple of months ago when I decided, “why not give dating a try?” What’s the worst thing that could happen, right? Well I recently learned what that is–worst first date.
I met this guy at the bar my friends and I went to, and we talked for at least a week before I finally agreed to go out with him. I didn’t really have an expectation for first dates aside from enjoying some good food and good conversation. At the time, I was going out on casual lunches and dinners with another guy friend of mine, so I thought, it should just be the same. (Stupid me, of course it would be different because I’m already friends with the other guy for a long time now, while I barely know the guy from the bar.) When on dates, I would normally pay for my own meals and what not, unless they insist otherwise. However with this guy, I got the impression that he’s the type to pay for everything on the first date because of the following actions: insisting on picking me up, that we watch the movie on an IMAX theatre, and to go to a fine dining restaurant, not to mention the TOWER–that’s right, the Tower–on our first date. (After much debacle, mostly on my part, we ended up getting dinner at a more casual diner, thank God.) I got the impression that the guy was a traditional, a gentleman-pays-on-the-first-date kind of guy, although I would later learn that I was wrong.
The night could be simplified as this: movie was boring, conversations were dull, lots of awkward silences, and for the most part, he just stared at me, like really really long, weird staring-contest kind of thing, where he would try and say something and then cut himself short, and then he will, again, just stare, and not in a make-you-feel-good-and-beautiful kind of way.To say it was horrible would be an understatement. And maybe a little bit mean. I tried to lighten the mood and dropped some jokes here and there, shared some funny stories, and asked him some questions just to get the conversation going and hopefully salvage the night. But in the end, I was met with stares, and more stares, and if not those, then some weird, irrelevant, and even random questions that lead to nothing but even more prolonged dead and awkward silence–and stares.
The last straw for me was that it felt a little bit shallow and superficial, like he didn’t try to get to know me, the person, and instead just score a date with someone like me. Now that may seem a little self-conceited, but I am in no way suggesting that I’m so great and mighty. After all, I took advantage of the night by basically getting a movie and dinner for free, not to mention that, towards the end of the night, I was basically very straight up to the point of being arrogant or even rude just so he’d get turned off and maybe get the hint that there would be no second date. I’m not defending my actions, but it just felt like he only saw the surface, and to put it bluntly, the beauty, and had no real interest to get to know me, the actual me.
In the end, I realized two things: one, there’s a first for everything, even first worst date. And two, you shouldn’t agree on a date when you’re not really interested with the person; it saves both of you the time and the effort. And it could save you from awkward prolonged stares too.